The Shiv Sena Chronicles

The recent municipal elections have brought the Shiv Sena back into power. The very news depressed me. The Shiv Sena is one of the few parties which take a strong stand against minorities, unfortunately endearing it to the predominantly Hindu population of India. Their slogan ‘Mee Mumbaikar’ have resulted in almost all Maharashtrians whole-heartedly voting for it. The Shiv Sena is the darling of the common lower middle-class Maharashtrian, who look down upon the Bhaiyya with righteous anger who crowds in the same compartment of the local train, sells vegetables in the same market as him, crowds upon the infrastructure of Mumbai. They think “This is my state. Why should anyone else crowd in my space?” They might be even right to some extent. However what they fail to understand is that such territorial thoughts are engineered and encouraged by political parties like Shiv Sena and BJP which the convert the sanctimonious anger of the people into votes.The Shiv Sena is a magnet for controversies. However I must compliment Bal Thackeray on one thing. His frontal attack on our honorable president APJ Abdul Kalam regarding the pardon of Mohammad Afzal, accused in the Parliament attack of 2001, in front of a packed Shivaji Maidan was a political masterstroke. The news made headlines and Shiv Sena got control of the richest civic corporation of India with funds to the tune of 10000 crore. With just a few sentences Thackeray managed to showcase the Congress as a weak party which goes soft on terrorism. His message was loud and clear ‘Vote for the Shiv Sena if you want your kids to be safe from any threat of terrorism’. The plan worked.The problem with the Shiv Sena is that it defies the very essence of the Indian Constitution, a thing called ‘secularism’. Though I must say that their stand on migration is correct to some extent [since I myself have to safar [suffer] in the local trains everyday]. What I mean to say is that what is legal at a certain point of time may not be beneficial for the larger good. Migration might be legal now, but i think right now every part of Mumbai is screaming for a bill which regulates migration. Mumbai is literally bursting at its seams. Before it bursts like the proverbial balloon, something needs to be done.However I don’t think we have any option but to be a silent spectator as Mumbai is run on the whims and fancies of ex-cartoonist Bal Thackeray. God Save Mumbai.

The H2H Phenomenon

As one of my friends, Saurabh Nagrecha kindly pointed out, I had unwittingly missed out on a whole class of bunkers. Offering my profuse apologies to them, I may say that they are a kind of underground movement slowly gaining momentum in the fringes of the Sathaye campus [if that can be called a campus]. H2H, ‘the perfect place for powerful gaming’; as the board proclaims is just what it alleges to be. The power of the place hits out at you the moment you enter the thankfully air conditioned room. The room reverberates with passionate cries of “Bhe*****, Ma*******, F*** and an assortment of colorful profanities; as avid gamers are hooked on to the 19 inch computer screen. My interview with one of the gamers began something like this. “Pakta nahi kya idhar din bhar?” I ventured cautiously. “Abe pakta hoga tere baap ko. CS hai toh sab kuch hai.” he politely answered my query, referring to the current Gen-X craze, Counter Strike [for the highly computer illiterate]. His eyes hadn’t left the computer screen at all. The computer screen was a decent hypnotist I thought. It could make you say things against your will.“Saala, is baar OC mein ud gaya hoon main. Jyada dimaag mat kha, already khiska hua hai.” He continued. I thought it better to obey him rather than having to explain the purplish patch on my face to mom. At any given point of time, there are at least ten people bickering to get a computer to vent out the frustrations of the day. And at Rs.30 per hour it is certainly not priced at something the average Joe could afford. The owner is certainly laughing all the way to the bank.Another good reason for the owner to smile is that H2H is getting new recruits everyday to fight the virtual battle on the screen, to fill its not-so-empty coffers. I don’t know whether for good or not, but everyone out there, brace yourself for the H2H phenomenon. P.S: H2H stands for Head to Head.

The Great Indian Bunker

Much of the general college-going crowd takes perverted pride in bunking college, the so-called crucible of learning. The question “How was your day in college today??” will get you an admonishing stare for asking such a ridiculous question; followed by the standard reply “Arre, attend kaun karta hai?” replete with a smug smile.
There is a fixed order of hierarchy among those who bunk college too. Those who invest their time [and money too] in lounging within the not-so-cheap confines of CCD are looked upon with a mixture of awe and jealousy by the average Joe who has spent his day in the college canteen [hope the guy ain’t in Sathaye], avoiding the loving stares of the canteen kakas. The CCD and Mocha group in turn are overshadowed substantially by those who bunk college to watch movies. This group [a pack of rich hounds would be more fitting] is often under the impression; unfortunately though; that their group has all the possible permutations and combinations of cool dudes n dudettes [is that a noun?]. You’ll find many of these dudes n dudettes actively participating in the Valentine’s Day celebrations [Don’t ask me how].
As for me, I am in none of these groups. I am in the almost extinct group of those who don’t bother to go to college. Though I may say that there has occurred a population explosion in this group, ever since the CET classes have commenced. I often find myself listening to a stream of complaints which sound something like this, “Aaj Rathi Sir ne reactions 15 baar likhne ko bola.”
I finally find myself satisfied for having told the as yet untold story of the great Indian bunker.